Monday, January 10, 2011

Toilet Trauma

2011 just keeps getting better.

So Friday I woke up feeling awful-sore throat, headache, body aches, intestinal upset, and what usually follows intestinal upset.  This continued for all of Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and that takes us to this morning, Monday morning.

After a night of minimal sleep due to sinus pressure, a thunderstorm, and frequent trips to the bathroom I got up wearily to shower, get breakfast ready-all the normal morning stuff.  While in the shower I heard some strange sounds coming from the toilet, like swishing and glugging water.  I didn’t think too much of it because changes in water pressure often cause the toilet to make strange sounds.  Chris and I went on with our morning as usual.  Chris was in the bathroom brushing his teeth when I suddenly needed to go to the bathroom.  He hustled out and I raised toilet seat, but quickly jumped back and screamed.

Sitting in the bowl was a large, wet rat.

The phrase “drowned rat” will forever have new meaning to me.

Chris jumped up, and I screamed “There’s a huge rat in the toilet!” and began crying.

Chris told me to wait on the porch while he went in the bathroom, and a few seconds later I hear

“There’s no rat in here.”

“There was one, I saw it, it was right there, it has to be there”

“Well, it’s not there now”

I’m thinking, “Okay, so I know it’s been a rough couple of weeks, but am I seriously starting to have hallucinations of rats in toilets?!  I mean are you kidding me?  And if I’m going to start having hallucinations couldn’t they be of something fun like I don’t know, kittens or bowls of candy or family members I haven’t seen in awhile? “

After about five minutes of Chris sitting next to me on the porch attempting to comfort me and me freaking out, crying and proclaiming that I plan to leave the country today, we went back inside and Chris opened the lid of the toilet again.  He let out a yell and I knew our wet, matted rat friend had returned. 

I didn’t imagine it.  Thank the Lord.  I was starting to really worry for a second.

So what do you do with a live rat in your toilet?  Neither Chris nor I were interested in trying to grab it or club it to death.  In fact, I had fled back to the safety of the porch and Chris was standing with one foot on the closed toilet lid to keep the nasty rodent from getting loose.  After making a few phone calls, one of the MAF kids who was excited to catch the rat for his snake came over.  Sadly, after multiple attempts and several blows to the head, the rat went back down the toilet and so far has not returned.  I am praying said rat went to his watery grave somewhere, or if not, that he went back the way he came and is too traumatized to come back and he will tell all of his friends to stay away too.

In reality I am probably the only one who is traumatized in this situation.  I feel like I will never be able to open the toilet again without being petrified that there will be a furry beast inside.  That’s not even to speak of actually using the toilet, especially at night. 

Really I don’t understand why these things are allowed to happen sometimes.

I’m sure many of you are rolling with laughter, and I don’t blame you, I probably would be too, but beware, when Chris and I later googled “rats in the toilet” stories popped up from all over the world, including many from states all over the U.S.  So check your toilets before you sit-you just may have an unwelcome potty partner.

Signing off and hoping, praying for better times ahead with no rats, sickness or other awfulness. 


  1. Addendum to the post...

    Moments ago I finally couldn't wait any longer and I headed to the bathroom. I just could not open that lid myself though, so I asked Chris to please do it, but I didn't really expect the rat to be there. Chris opened the lid, flushed the toilet and up ran the rat, alive as ever. It's now hiding back down in the toilet pipe.

    If we can't get this rat out we may have to move, because I seriously CANNOT handle it.


  2. I'm sending you a hug right now! I have actually always had a hidden fear of something like that happening to me. But I know that my days will come when I will be in your position with all this crazy cultural stuff. I am praying for you!

  3. I remember Aunt Sally having a snake in her toilet when she lived in Royal Oak...she doesn't remember it, but I do! I guess I shouldn't be too alarmed when I see a giant cockroach in the toilet down here in Florida. I pray your little buddy dies or disappears soon!

    P.S. Our guest room is available...

  4. I'm praying that you can find some rat poison, or a grate to put down the pipe, or something. Maybe you can use an old fashioned chamber pot or a bucket.
    Sorry, I'm a natural problem solver.
    Sending you a hug,

  5. Thanks for the hugs and good suggestions! Chris and his friend finally caught and disposed of the rat this morning-thank the Lord! We found this valve online that can be put somewhere in the toilet pipe that is supposed to keep anything from coming up-it's actually called SRVB-Snake Rat Vermin Barrier! We just have to make sure it will fit with our toilet. Although the toilet is rat-free at the moment I'm afraid to use it for fear there are more rats coming, which creates a problem because I'm still not feeling that great. Luckily I have friends within walking distance so I can use their toilets as needed.

    Aunt Nancy-I don't blame you for being freaked out by giant cockroaches, they are definitely awful too! Trust me, your guest room has never sounded better!

  6. Just found you from Joy's husband's blog. I'm sooo sorry - That has been one of my fears for forever, all those pregnant nights going potty at 2am, I'd always look first. Glad he finally got caught - Can you pour bleach down the toilet? Or something really nasty? Tobasco sauce or?? to prevent further visitors?

  7. Well, it's better than your toilet blowing up. My (biological)sister Sarah had a dream when she was little that the toilet blew up.

  8. I found you from Joy's husband's blog. I was rolling with laughter, but then remembered that we have rats that visit our barn on occasion. So I assure you that tonight when I use the potty...I will turn. on. the. light. Blech!!

    Carmen in Indiana

  9. it is a known fact that rats do come through the toilet , there are many different types of remedies out there such as a large object on the toilet seat to stop them from getting out , or things like soap or washing up liquid in the bowl , there is only the one solution which has been tested and government tested , the multiflap valve , a valve designed to fit the Strap toilet And the P trap toilet , there is a valve the SRVB which DOES NOT have any test certification , if you are looking to stop the fear of rats or snakes coming through the toilet you should fit the multiflap valve , look for the multiflap logo on the lid for the genuine tested article